Trying new plants, just because you can

I think for a lot of people, their gardening trajectory starts with houseplants, then moves to edibles when you finally get a yard or a balcony, then outdoor ornamental plants, and finally overwintering tender plants in your living room and trying to convince your spouse to turn the garage into a greenhouse. 

That pothos from the grocery store is a slippery slope is what I'm saying.

I’ve had that Philodendron ‘Goldinia’ for 20 years?

 
One of the things I love most about gardening is how you can move between interests and it all ultimately makes sense because it’s the same end goal: you want to grow things and maybe learn something new in the process. Maybe the things are indoors, maybe they are edible. Maybe they save you money or maybe they scratch the itch to do hard things. Maybe you can’t help yourself. They’re all viable reasons to send money to a stranger so you can get something that might not survive in return.

As our garden has evolved I've prioritized ornamental plants over edible ones, though I still grow a lot of herbs in pots, because I like to cook. I picked up Crocus sativus last year from Illahe Rare Plants, after listening to Mark Akimoff talk at the HPSO Fall Plantfest. He’s a great speaker.

Crocus sativus in my sage pot.

I didn't do anything with the stigmas last year, mostly because you have to act fast when you see them out, and I move slowly when I’m sad about the state of the world. I wanted to harvest them this year, and luckily this handy guide appeared in my inbox from Mark's mailing list:

Drying is tricky and I’m sure some scientific method of exacting standards is laid out somewhere in google land. I do what I can with what I have and here is my method: open the oven so that the door is set ajar by several inches, the temp is raised to the lowest setting possible which on my oven is 170' deg F. the stigmas spread on the parchment lined cookie sheet to not touch each other as much as possible are occasionally shifted through shaking the sheet and the whole process usually takes less than 20 minutes until they are dry to the touch and almost crispy.

It's been sort of a silly affair, sometimes harvesting two or three blooms at a time, but it takes very little time to pop them in a warmish oven and dry them. It's been sort of a fun distraction, and it makes me feel responsible, especially when grocery prices are all over the place. What if we called today a success because we harvested nine stigmas of saffron? Mediocre men are frankly doing less.

 Now I have a tiny supply of saffron! I think the technical amount would be a "goodly pinch."
 

That’s like, $20 worth of saffron, right?

As far as growing notes, I have them in a wine barrel planter with my sage and they get watered maybe once a month during the summer. As soon as the rain starts again they break dormancy and everything moves very quickly. Mark advises planting them 6-8" deep in well draining soil. He doesn't give his any summer water. Harvesting can start as early as September or end as late as December. I harvested this goodly pinch over a two-week period.

Illahe grows an impressive array of tough little alpine plants that survive harsh conditions, should you find yourself in need of horticultural inspiration.

If you have any recommended recipes using saffron, drop them in the comments!

Overwintering bromeliads when you're quite tired

I am always an optimist in the spring. Things like bromeliads get purchased and I swear that I’m gonna do right by them, come winter. But then they get brought inside where they are slowly starved of water and light. I have yet to make it through a winter without losses because that is a time when I am not at my best. I could just chuck them in the compost in the fall and save everyone a lot of trouble, but then I wouldn’t have the fun story of getting up to pee in the middle of the night and stepping on a slug that had hitchhiked inside on a plant I was overwintering in the bathroom. That plant died, by the way. 

I’ve been on a journey to get better at this, but it’s hard when you’re lazy and prone to clinical depression. I seem to both under and overwater them. In an effort to kill fewer plants, or at least make the midnight foot goo worth it, I’m trying a new setup. 

The bromeliads get dug up from their outside locations and sprayed out to minimize spider and slug hitchhikers. Then they get snugged together in orchid pots with chunky soil. I’ve been using Sol Soils since the Tacoma Fling where I picked up a sample. I absolutely love them.

The orchid pots can be sprayed indiscriminately, making sure that the bromeliad cups have sufficient water but their roots won’t rot. I’m hoping this combo keeps them happier than in winters past.

Then I stuffed them in a metal bucket and put them under some grow lights in the living room, which is how you let visitors know that you’re a responsible adult.

A funny thing is that my brain has always associated grow lights with seed starting and not a thing that you could provide to make your houseplants happier. It took seeing my niece’s houseplant setup to retool my brain. Life is full of wonderful surprises when you go through it not really paying attention.

I might even buy a humidifier but I don’t want to get too good at this. Bromeliad growers are expecting me to keep them in business. Happy fall, y’all.