Showing posts with label revenge. Show all posts
Showing posts with label revenge. Show all posts

Wednesday, October 23, 2013

Very funny

I picked up a Begonia luxurians at the end of summer at Cistus for a few dollars, knowing it wouldn't get to spend much time outside before it had to come in for the winter.

Greg discovered that the smaller desiccated leaves look like spiders and he thought it would be hilarious to leave one on the floor, call me into the room, then point it out.

Guys, if Alfred Hitchcock had been in the room with me he would've offered me a contract on the spot. I don't think I've ever screamed like that before. I'm tempted to leave one on Greg's pillow but I know that I'll see it, forget what it is, and scare myself all over again.

The upshot is that I had to give a big presentation at work the next morning and I had not a drop of adrenaline left in my body to make me nervous. But still, revenge must happen. Ideas?

Tuesday, July 10, 2012

Get off my lawn.

The other day I was working at the dining room table and I heard conversation from the yard. Four neighbor boys were walking through my yard, over the berm, through the rain garden, across the rocks, everywhere but the sidewalk. I politely asked them to get the hell out of my yard and they very politely scurried off.

When you see one set of footprints it was then that I carried some trash that I dropped in your rain garden.

And I know that you just have to let go when it comes to the front yard. Cats poop in your mulch. Dogs lift their legs on your favorite yucca. Other dogs then pee on your favorite yucca. People step on plants in the hell strip and throw cigarette butts amongst the ground covers.

And dogs, enough with the peeing on my favorite yucca. Jesus.

But now I'm pondering growing stinging nettle or prickly pear in the berm. Someone tell me to let it go.