A gate. Finally.

Since we sunk the fence posts a few weeks back we haven't progressed much. I hung the stringers and outer boards on two of the sections but couldn't move further until we tore out the old corner post.

That post was almost completely rotted through and hosting quite a community of insects. Two summers ago, when I replaced that fence, I reused the post, feeling that it would hold up until we were ready to extend the fence, and it did.

This weekend we had to dig the old one out, re-sink a new post, then finish off the fence and gate. I took the boards off the front and watched in horror as gobs of insects emerged from their nest inside the post. The post lifted right out of its concrete footing and I asked Greg to get it as far from the house as possible, in case the insects I saw were termites. He dropped it right next to the house and I swear I've never wanted to marry him so badly, just so I could divorce him.

I flipped out, he moved it, we were cranky as hell with each other for a few hours. Normal home improvement stuff.

Next we had to dig out the old concrete, which wasn't too bad. We dug all around, then wedged a board under the lip, like a lever. Greg stood/bounced on that while I cranked with the pickax from another direction. And now we have this sweet concrete phallus to use as garden art!

This was an interesting project because I have built all the fences thus far, in some cases without any help. All of a sudden Greg had opinions on the building, and he was telling me to do things.

Anybody who knows me in real life knows that shit don't fly. Unless we're in an emergency and you're trying to talk me through landing the plane or delivering a baby in a taxi, don't tell me what to do. Anyway, I am the worst but we got through it. Greg is the engineer so he designed and prepped the gate. We hung it and leveled it (definitely the hardest part) and got it about 95% done.

Now we need to cut off the tops of the fence posts, rip down some narrower slats (we don't own a table saw), and stain and seal the boards.

I'm reusing some of the old boards to close the gaps on our back fence. As the boards have expanded and contracted in the sun and rain, the gaps have grown and we can see quite a lot of our neighbors' yard (and they ours).

I'm worried we'll forget to close the bedroom drapes and give our neighbors' kids an accidental anatomy lesson. So up the boards are going. They are wonderful neighbors but I'm happy not to see them through the fence.

But the thing that's making me happiest of all is the new gate, which means we have TWO entrances to our yard. We can complete one continuous loop through our front and back yards. Extending the gate also makes our backyard feel bigger and more spacious.

Before

Now

Next up: sod removal and the acquisition of a hammock to better enjoy the fruits of our labor. And maybe some sort of screen to block the view of the AC unit.

I win.

We were driving to Home Depot to get a replacement blade for the lawnmower and I mentioned that I wanted to get one of those wine barrel planters. Greg was like, "Let's get it next time."

"Why?"
"We'll get it next time."
"I'm getting it."
"Just get it next time."
"Do you know me at all? Now I'm getting two."
"It's not going to fit in your Honda. Let's just come back with the truck."
"I CAN FIT THREE IN MY HONDA. NOW I'M BUYING THREE, ARE YOU HAPPY?"

Anything can be a competition if you try hard enough!

Adventures in closet building

The closet before

The boy has a man cold (poor little bunny) but we soldiered on and installed our Martha Stewart closet organizers this weekend. Part of that soldiering on might have been Greg drinking tea in bed while I sanded and painted but I'll never tell since I made him use the table saw while I cowered on the kitchen steps.

The system is actually pretty easy, though we had a few extra prep steps. Follow along!

For starters you'll want to get rid of this old timey shoe rack. I am totally down to keep stuff that is original to the house, but this is right smack in the middle of where the main closet unit will go.

 

Hey, that's the dishwasher! Wave to the kitchen--the kitchen that you can now see from the bedroom!

Take off the trim that used to hold up the shelf and scream your freaking head off because there's all kinds of ancient dessicated spiders back there. Make Greg get rid of them and then roll your eyes when he leaves LEGS behind.

Marvel at the system you've jury-rigged in the living room.

Add 2x4s and drywall to the space where the shoe rack had been.

Make sure to measure a few things wrong so you have to hack down the drywall with a kitchen knife. Measure a few more things wrong so you have to shim your 2x4s to get the drywall to sit flush with the wall. Then tape and mud your seams with some old joint compound you found in the basement. It's a little dry, but what's the worst that could happen?

Attach the metal rod thing to the wall studs. This is all that lies between your shelving system and disaster, so do it right. Accidentally knock the drill onto your big toe and throw a temper tantrum, declaring that you're hungry and you need to take a break. Go eat pizza, you big baby.

Spend a good hour or so trying to make sense of the various boxes that are in your office. Ponder why on earth you would have ordered four sets of 12-inch shelves. Once you've made sense of where things are going, hang the shelves on the metal rod thing. But first make sure to sand your new drywall ahead of schedule, ripping the tape. You know what? More dried out joint compound should fix that.

The smart way to do this would be to stop, let the compound dry, let the paint on the area where the trim was dry, paint the drywalled area and let THAT dry, but meh, screw that. Let's build it now! You can paint that area the next time Greg goes away on business. You wouldn't rather be eating a big salad and watching Vampire Diaries and sleeping with all the pillows; you're gonna want to paint some spot in the closet you never look at.

Assemble your system. Make the most beautiful pilot holes the world has ever seen and brag to Greg that if people got Academy Awards for drilling holes, there would be a little gold man on your mantle right now.

Stage your closet like they do on websites, as if people have the room to place one pair of shoes on a shelf. Once the pictures are taken CRAM, BABY CRAM.

Pour yourself a glass of wine and eat the spaghetti sauce from a jar because you're so freaking tired. High-five each other incessantly. You did it! You didn't kill each other!

Seriously though, we're really happy with our system. Of course, these shelving units are being held to the wall solely by a notch that attaches to a metal rod. And the notched units are made out of pressboard. These aren't going to last forever but they're pretty good considering we spent $350 for the whole system.

I have the coolest boyfriend

My friend T came over a couple of weeks ago to help me figure out what to do with the front yard. I was filling Greg in on her ideas and we got to talking about the backyard. He asked me if I'd want to hear what he'd do back there. He then proceeded to spew a bunch of awesomeness.

Despite the fact that he hates gardening and has zero interest in landscaping, and the fact that I've never really articulated what I want in a yard, he came up with a plan that nailed everything I want. It's a good thing he's so cute because that's frankly kind of annoying. I think about my yard constantly! Why am I not coming up with this stuff?

Basically his plan involves building a rather large (and low--think Japanese) deck off the second bedroom, which would eventually get French doors. BEHOLD, my superior MS Paint skills:

It would be big enough for a table that can seat 8-10 so I could have dinner parties back here. He'd shorten the existing rotten wood deck off of my bedroom so it was really just stairs, then put down large stone pavers. He'd build up the plantings between the two decks so I'd have a little seating area just outside our bedroom sliders. Think Adirondack chairs and martinis. The big bone planter would get dismantled and moved to the other side of the yard where the cement slab is (and it would have a new shape). The cement slab would get broken up and removed so we could expand the plantings in that weird back corner.

My one addition to this plan was to add a tree in the center of the yard for height and to provide a tiny bit of shade to one side of the deck. And I added a rain garden. And of course I mocked up these awesome plans in Paint.

Of course, he had to outdo that too. While I was out drinking wine with Bill, Greg measured the yard and built me a layout TO SCALE.

So instead of doing everything back there haphazardly, I can PLAN. And give the shrubs the right amount of space and whatnot. Mock-ups will be coming shortly--if we can pull off what we're thinking, we will have the coolest yard in the city. Of course, this could all be an elaborate plan to eliminate the lawn so he doesn't have to mow it. I conned him into doing it every week if he doesn't have to do dishes. Sucker.

(Have I mentioned I love living with him? He's a fabulous roommate and I couldn't be happier.)

And in the days of yore they would retire to the parlour and fight.

Remember this painting?

 

It really wanted to be in the newly painted living room. It also wanted a better photograph, but you win some, you lose some.

Please don't anthropomorphize the paintings; they hate that.

I think it looks so much better against the olive green wall.  A while back the boy asked me about picture rail hangers and I wondered why I hadn't thought to use them before. Picture rail hooks hang from your ceiling molding, which means no holes in your plaster for nails or hardware. And they make it a snap to move artwork around. I found House of Antique Hardware online and ordered these sweet little hooks for about $2 apiece.

They arrived this Saturday so Greg and I spent part of the evening fussing with them. He's an engineer so he was doing things like figuring out the hypotenuse and I've been around paint fumes too much so I was doing things like getting super annoyed that he wouldn't just let me hang the thing freestyle, making small adjustments to lengths and placements a thousand times. That wall isn't going to gouge itself, you know.

I am super bad at letting people help me with home improvement, unless it is the brute strength kind of help. It didn't go very well.

But eventually some combination of math and stubbornness prevailed and we got both the huge rooftop painting (two hooks) and my Battlestar Galactica prints (one hook each) hung from the molding.

Again, this is a terrible photo but they look great in person. I'll post better pictures once the living room is finished.